no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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