Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
