is wine microwaveable?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
