I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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