i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
