I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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