they need to just BURY HIM!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
