it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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