You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
