i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
