Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
