Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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