He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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