if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize