Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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