how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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