On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
two words...techno handjob
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
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