Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
