Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
