He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
