Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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