You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
