I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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