I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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