i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
