all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
