How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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