): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
