Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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