im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
