In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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