Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
