so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
