Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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