Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize