I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
