12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
