Screwed.edu
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
