1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
