dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
