So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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