you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
