small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
