i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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