I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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