Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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