I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize