Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.

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(214): View more from Texas

What do you think it is?

(615): View more from Tennessee

It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

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(949): View more from California

Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.

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(415): View more from California

If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league

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(703): View more from Virginia

You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Oh dear. Sending much love.

(1-540): View more from Virginia

Just send a machete.

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