We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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