She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
