in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize