I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
