we need to drink 2009 down the drain
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
