i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
