I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
