no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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