sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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