The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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