You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
A bitchslap is in order.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
