Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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