and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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