Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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