Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
drinking out of a sandbucket again
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
