turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
