It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
