just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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