btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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