dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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