so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
