Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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