I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize