Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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